Why are chicks such bitches?

We've all heard men lamenting that women are rude/mean/dismissive of them when they're just being nice and trying to have a chat. "Why oh why are women such bitches?! I'm one of the nice guys!" (That's usually Nice Guy (TM)). Have you ever wondered why women in bars and clubs and at sporting events and at the tram stop and in the lunch room don't want to talk to you? Here's a few reasons:

1. Just because a woman is there, and you find her attractive, doesn't mean she is obliged to have a friendly, smiley chatette with you. She does not exist for your entertainment. This does not make her a mean bitch, it does not make all women bitches; it makes that woman a person who doesn't want to talk to you, get the hint.

2. Women are taught from a very young age that if we are sexually assaulted, it will probably be considered our own fault because we were wearing a short skirt, or flirting with a guy, having a drink with a guy, showing interest in a guy. "It's not my fault Your Honour, she was smiling and being friendly to me, I thought she wanted sex! And when she was too drunk to say no and my dick just fell into her, well I thought she was enjoying it. And besides, just look at all the character witnesses telling you that I'm really a Nice Guy!" Living with this day in, day out, kind of puts one's guard up. You might not be a rapist, but how does she know that? Is being nice to you worth the risk that if you are, everyone will say she was asking for it?

3. Even if it never comes to the point of sexual assault, many women are pretty sick and tired of men who just don't get the frickin' hint. You share one friendly chat and they're all over you like a rash for the rest of the night, regardless of whether you want them there or not. And they do this because they feel entitled to it. They believe that because you were friendly once, you might have sex with them, and they're not giving up until they get their God-given right! Sometimes its for a man's own good that women are bitches in the first place. Heaven forbid we be accused of leading a bloke on.

3. Maybe the bitchy chick is sick and tired of being treated like crap by men who leer and drool if they find her good looking, and disregard her completely if they don't. How does she know you're not just another pig?

These are just some of the reasons why women might be mean to you, when you're just trying to start up a friendly conversation. I'm not saying it's ok for women to be rude or nasty to men just because inequality exists. What I'm saying is that there is a lot of learned experience that goes into being a woman that men are often blissfully unaware of. This is some of that learned experience, and sometimes it results in chicks being bitches. In case you were wondering.

You're taking up too much space

I take the tram to and from work. It's a lovely, quintessentially Melbourne experience. I get on out in the 'burbs, so more times than often score a seat. One thing I've noticed though, and its been getting on my nerves: men just don't move over. The double seats on the standard and W-class (not the 'new' bullet looking trams) trams are not divided, just a double bench. People generally take up a bit more than half the seat if they have it to themselves, but when somebody sits down next to them I've noticed a marked gender difference. Women tend to pull their bag in closer and scooch across the seat and cross their legs, so the other person has ample room. Men, on the other hand, remain sitting wide legged, taking up 3/4 of the seat. And when you sit down, they stay that way! Like do I have to sit on your lap so you get the message? Well that's what I've been resorting to - when they don't move over, I just sidle up real close, bump them a few times and half dump my bag on their laps. I'm being rude, I know it, I'm essentially shoving them, but seriously, get a fucking clue.

(Of course this is a generalisation, I should take a poll or something).

This whole tram seating thing got me thinking about space in general and I've started noticing a myriad of different ways in which men feel entitled to space, and women feel like they shouldn't take up any...

-Men sit wide legged, women cross their legs (this is of course also because we couldn't have our legs open because you know we have vaginas).

-I feel unfeminine when I sit with my legs wide and sturdy...so I try to do it as much as possible!

-Gee I dunno, the whole women-should-diet-themselves-to-nothing-to-be-attractive, but men get to have muscles.

-A woman wants a dressing table - gah she takes up so much space! A man wants a shed - well that's reasonable isn't it?

-The way women with big breasts tend to slouch.

-The way blokes hardly ever move out of the way when you're on a collision course on the street. If I don't move, we bump shoulders. (Yes I know, another generalisation)

-I'm ashamed to tell shoe sales girls that my feet are a size 9. Big feet = man. Doesn't matter that I'm nearly 6 ft of course.

-Trams again - the way men, and only men (ie not tall women) seem to expect you to duck under their outstretched arm to get out of the tram. Seriously could you let go for one sec so I don't have to stick my face in your sweaty armpit?

And I could go on, but I'm off to purchase World War Z :-)